by Melisse Ogilvie, Social Worker
While I sat on Grand Anse Beach basking in the refreshing rays of the sunshine and sea breeze, feeling such peace and joy, a young lady was, from all reports, at the same time contemplating ending her life.
In recent weeks, our country was wrecked with news of 2 suicides and, we do not know the number of other actual suicide attempts. We grapple to make sense of it all.
As we observe Mental Health Awareness Month, it’s important for us to understand mental health, and in particular, what drives people to suicide and its impact. A person who has reached the end of their tether, feels hopeless and sees no future, will likely attempt to end their life. Some people may feel they do not have the ability or the support to come out of that dark hole.
During this pandemic, with fears of the disease running rampant, lockdowns, loss of livelihood, and other life-changing events, the internal turmoil is perpetuated, causing some to “tip over the edge”. This is particularly the case for people who have had periods of mental ill-health or an undiagnosed mental illness. Unfortunately, too many people are still apprehensive to seek professional help for fear of being stigmatised. For this, we must take collective responsibility.
Mental illness is primarily caused by environmental and social factors. People with mental illness, those who are likely to commit suicide, might have been victims of abuse or experienced some traumatic event, and might never have recovered from the experience.
Mental Illness could also be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain or drug-induced. We need to accept that, whatever the cause, mental illness is real and anyone could be diagnosed with it.
Who is affected by suicide?
It affects the families and friends dealing with the aftermath. They may have feelings of guilt, shame and anger. Although having these emotions is understandable, it is hoped that they will receive the support and help to process those feelings and deal with the grief. This is necessary so that they too, do not become susceptible to feelings of hopelessness.
Suicide may also affect the professionals, community members, or neighbours responding to or discovering the individual. Since this is also a traumatic event, it is important for them to receive support to manage any associated emotions and flashbacks, thus minimising the impact of this event on their wellbeing.
If a person has survived an attempt, in our society, they will always have that label attached to them, which can severely impact their recovery. Hopefully, they are able to receive the help they need and move on to live a fruitful life.
What can we do?
There are many reasons why a person may determine that suicide is the only option. Whether we understand this or not, we are called to be people who are compassionate and empathetic.
Remember, we have different outlooks and lenses through which we view our circumstances. We also have different coping mechanisms and different support networks. These impact our ability to deal with mental illness. It may not be enough to pray away the situation.
Regardless of what we think of suicide, let us all be sensitive to the emotional needs of the people in our world and try or best to reach out to them. We can start by paying attention to the signs that a person may need help. These are: increased use of drugs and alcohol, insomnia, delusion, changes in mood/behaviour, self harming, initial threats of suicide, changes in work performance and reduced interest in hobbies, self- isolation, promiscuity etc.
Let us be our brother’s keeper!
Jennifer, I agree with you that suicide is never an option.
There are always solutions, always hope or treatments out there.
But, I took exception to someone using the word ‘burn’ in regards to what will happen to someone who commits suicide. For one thing, that word causes great anguish for the surviving family members.
Yes, perhaps the fear of burning can keep people from killing themselves – which is a good thing – but it may also cause people to feel alienated from the divine because they may see God as so punishing. It may also keep those who suffer depression, or family members of people who have committed suicide, from being compassionate with themselves and seeking the real help they need. Instead they may hide things and suffer more shame and stigma.
So I think both your point and mine can – and should – coexist.
Mental illness is real and should be taken seriously but how is it being addressed? Where are the services?!!
Also, mental health services and religion can coexist! We shouldn’t have to chose one over the other. People with mental illness needs services!
Hi lets for argument sake say we dont know what happens to a suicided person. What if option one is true. So what next? So to be on the safe side cause we cannot being back the dead. We encouyrage alternative
Hi i think the writer above was misunderstood. As she ckearly stated she was there on seceral occasions. When siicide is on you mind there is a voice that tells you its ok. Its not ok. There are cinsequences which we must be real about.we have to offer hope to someone in that depression state. Besides letting k ow you are sorry for them. They need your help. First they need to be rncourage to have hope. Then a conforting honest person who they can trust. Then vomes acgion to help if its finance. If its a bromen relationship. Encourage to have self love. We need to remind thrm others are worse off and we will work with them. I am a syrvibir so i can speak. Its not an option!!.
I don’t agree that those who have been lost to suicide will ‘burn’ and I feel that this kind of belief is EXTREMELY harmful. God is Love. AND I believe that God is more loving and forgiving than we can ever imagine or conceive.
I used to think – like you – that suicide was an unforgiveable sin until I was struck down with depression and was shown God’s love and Grace and Mercy. When I was in a very dark place He showed me that His love for me is eternal and that I can literally never get away from it. Not in this life nor in the next.
It is humans that conceive of God as wrathful and so harshly condemning. Why would God condemn someone who is ILL? That is what leads to suicide. Anyone who attempts suicide is not thinking clearly. They are unwell. Let’s have mercy and compassion on those who suffer, and their families, instead of adding to their already heavy burdens by now also heaping on them the label of eternal sinner.
May our society become more tolerant and understanding of those with mental illness.
Blessings.
Please listen, without judgement and stigma.
That’s all.
Great Article !
I have been a suffer of mental illness and depression for much of my adult life. I’ve received excellent help and support in the past, which means I am able to manage the episodes as I continue to journey through life. I have encountered many people along the way who understand, and many who do or can not. For those that do not understand the journey we are on, they’ll say things like “Hey it’s just one of those things, you’ll be fine…”. I’ve recognised that those people want to help, but don’t know how, but just knowing they are there is a great help. The other group that do not understand are what I refer to as the zealots. These folks, usually mightily religious, will tell you to turn to god, pray and all such other stuff. I get that they’re suggesting let go of your worries, and the god will provide, but in typical religious zealot fashion there is always the caveat – ‘you burn in hell for your sins’. All of this is definitely not helpful when you’re considering your own mortality.
Personally I am not religious. If I were, I would not be christian (too much hypocrisy), but when I have contemplated taking my life it is not because I can not cope, it is not because things have become too much. Its been more a case of looking at the struggles we face each day, the hardship, the struggles to survive added to the knowledge that we’re all going to die someday anyway. With that in mind, from time to time I have contemplated taking my own life to end the struggle, end the existence and to do it on my own terms and in my own time. People will tell me (have told me) that this thought process is incredibly selfish. And you’re right. It would be me thinking about me and making choices for me based on what I want. But at the moment, struggling with depression and the futility of life, the alternative is that I think only abut you, what you want and making a choice for my life which suits your narrative. And in that simple statement highlights the anguish so many people who journey through depression struggle with every day.
Today, I’m not struggling with depression. I’m not lost on my journey and I am happy in my current place. But to all those out there that are not, please be assured you are not alone, and there are lots of people nearby who know the journey you’re on and can help.
That’s the problem there, people always feel the need to judge when they don’t understand.. You can stand on your pedestal and commend saying you’ll burn in hell, yea you do a damn good job “helping” you think those words make things better, no they don’t!! We are not all in the same spiritual health, you don’t know what spiritual battles others have gone through. You want to help, start by not judging!! Start by just listening, empathizing!! It becomes an option for others when there is no long a light at the end of the tunnel, and all hope feels lost. When you look into the future and all you see is darkness.
Suicide should NEVER be an option. There are times when we loose hope. I have been there several times. Cry out to GOD in your home or where you feel asking for help.Go to someone tell them how you feel. Once you die without forgiveness you will be lost to burn. Ig will be worse than covid 19. Its eternal. ASK for help churches govt friends, please its not an option. I am here. We should be each others helper.