by Judy M McCutcheon
If this isn’t a time of reflection and redirection then, I don’t know what is.
This period has caused us to do things we never thought we’d ever had to do. But then again that’s the very nature of uncertainty, isn’t it? Mike Tyson, one of my favourite boxers even though he maddened me with the shortness of his fights said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth, and then like a rat they stop in fear and freeze.” In many ways, we are getting sucker-punched by an invisible opponent, or some would say enemy, one that did not exist 18 or so months ago. But I know that we are resilient, even though, if we listened to our brains, it tells us we are scared helpless little beings. When your brain perceives a threat, it immediately sends your body into a fight, flight, or freeze mode. The issue with this as it relates to our personal development is that the majority of us remain in freeze mode. Don’t get me wrong, the brain is doing exactly what it is supposed to do — protect you. But it is your job to show your brain that it’s okay if you step outside your comfort zone. Nothing great happens within your comfort zone, I just want you to know that.
When I just started my #Badass brand, people suggested I spell it differently; others wanted the training but did not want me to use the word. Oh, the things our brains tell us. When many women hear the word #Badass, they automatically head into the negative realm. However, my use of the word is meant to conjure up images of boldness, confidence, power, bravery, self-assuredness, kindness. Because in essence, that’s what being #Badass is all about. Before reclaiming my power and becoming intentional in living life on my terms and in my authenticity, I was as miserable and unhappy as they come. The thing about your life and your happiness is that they are both your responsibility. The life you have up to this point is a result of the decisions you have made and the great thing about decisions is that you can change them.
Our thoughts, plus the feelings caused by those thoughts cause us to take certain actions and those actions give us the results we now have. And the best thing about your thoughts is that you and only you have the power to change them. Most times we operate based on what we think is acceptable or what we think others might say or think about us. You see, when your lived trauma remains unhealed, you believe that what you seek lies outside yourself. So, you do all the things to get noticed by others whilst remaining invisible yourself. To fit in with the thin crowd you eat a diet of lettuce and water, to fit in with the hip crowd you do all the things that make you uncomfortable. You do everything to fit in and to disregard who you truly are.
We all don’t want the same things in life, success looks different to each of us so your version of #badass will certainly look different from mine. However, there are some fundamentals that you must adhere to in seeking to reclaim and stand in your power and authenticity. We are all on a journey, we are not broken, we only need to adapt and re-discover who we are. My mantra is that this life is not meant to be done alone. We all need support, but I know only too well that asking for and accepting help is not something we do very well. We are strong. We have it all together. We know what we are about. We are fine. The truth is, we are scared shitless and are afraid of others seeing how scared we are. If only you knew that the next woman is just as scared as you are. If only we recognise ourselves in each other. If only we gave ourselves a break. If only we gave ourselves some love.
Throughout my journey one thing I have found that we consciously omit from our lives is pleasure. I am not talking about sexual pleasure although that is part of it, I am simply talking about the activation of your 5 senses. We escape from ourselves through our continuous busyness, texting, talking, the constant need to be with others — it’s almost as If we are afraid to be with ourselves, afraid of what the silence will reveal. What I want you to know is that you are enough — you really are. There is no need for you to work harder, do more, or dial it up 2 notches to get more. And if you have been sitting on the sidelines waiting for approval or frozen in fear, I am letting you know that it is time. It’s time to get serious about your dreams. It’s time for you stop procrastinating. It’s time to stop waiting for perfection. It’s time to stop waiting for other people to cheer you on. It’s time to believe in yourself, your capabilities, and your abilities. It’s time to become your own version of #badass. It’s time to be authentically you.
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Judy McCutcheon is a partner in the firm Go Blue Inc, a Human Development Company. www.goblueinc.net